How Do You Get That Lonely?

…”How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad

To make you make the call, that havin’ no life at all

Is better than the life that you had

How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go

How do you get that lonely… and nobody know…”

These words come from a song performed by Blaine Larson called “How Do You Get That Lonely.”

I first heard the song several weeks ago. It talks about a person who is reading a newspaper obituary and discovers one about a young adult who took his own life. The song describes the reader’s questions as to how a person could arrive at such a place.

After 24 years of policing and about an equal amount of time working with teens and young adults in a number of venues, I will tell you that I’ve asked this question many, many times. Those who I’ve known who have taken their lives are forever lost and I will always mourn the loss of their lives and the positive light they brought into this world.

Recent events in Northfield and in Red Lake have reminded me of the tough times our kids face and how their perception of hopelessness is often higher because of their limited life experiences. We must send the message that it is not as dark as it seems right now. It can and will get better.

For those of you who might be reading this and truly feel that life is worth nothing and you have nothing to live for, I’m here to tell you that is not the truth. There is a loving God who cares about you. You make a difference in many many lives you may not even know about.

You will be missed tremendously.

Please do not take your life.

Find someone to talk with: keep trying until you find someone who will listen. Ministers, teachers, parents and friends want to help you. You can even call 911 and a police officer will come talk to you.

You are precious and loved and we need you to stay here with us. Here are some places you can call or click to right now for help.

Rice County/Northfield 24 Hour Numbers
Mental Health Crisis Line 1-800-233-9929
Hope Center 1-800-607-2330
Social Services 1-800-442-1286

The National Boys and Girls Town has a teen and young adult hotline you can call any time:

Call With any Problem, Anytime
1-800-448-3000 (TDD 1-800-448-1833)
Open 24 hours a day, everyday

You can go to their website and get materials, information and even enter a chat room.

About Gary Smith

Chief Smith has served over 31 years in the criminal justice field. He is currently a consultant assisting public and private organizations better establish community goals and ethical conduct with the members of their organizations. Chief Smith serves as a facilitator, lecturer, professor and other capacities both inside and outside the criminal justice field.
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